I picked up my phone to punch in your phone number, I held it loosely, it almost fell off. I stared at your name on my screen, it read "My Man", I pondered on the meaning of that for split seconds, "My Man", what did I even mean by that, I wrote it but now I can't answer the question, but I'm sure I can answer the question if I loved you or not, that wouldn't even be an issue. Did I mean you are the man I lean on, was I saying that you are the only man in my life? Did I mean I'm the only woman that has you? Was I saying you are my provider? Or among all other men, your username is my man and therefore you are unique and special to me?. I threw the phone back on the mattress. I wanted to call but I couldn't. The network was perfect, my battery was 86% full, my heart yearns for you, everything is telling me to call you, but I couldn't, I still can't. I feel like I'm in a dream and I can't help myself, like I can't move a finger, as though only my mind functions. I know what I want, I don't know how to get it. I know where to get it. But pride won't let me dial.
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