MY ASS IS BLACK. WHY?!

 

Some parts of my body are really light, others are dark, others very dark. I know for sure though that I'm not a light-skinned person, I'm somewhere in between. The darker parts of my body from top to bottom include my elbow,my ass, the upper parts of my thights from the back and my knees (as far as I know).
  Now I understand the darkness of the knee and elbow, they face direct sunlight on a daily, they have a number of scars from my childhood playground, and especially for the knee,  I attended a boarding school, and even though I was completely obedient to a fault, I knelt down a lot, so they are allowed to be black, I totally understand. What I don't get however is my butt, why is it black? It has hardly seen the light of day in a good number of years now, so miss ass please what is your problem?
 

I'm not alone in this cloud of wonder I see my senior Tiwa Savage and many Nigerian big shots in the same tragic situation, so you mean that we can't wear swim suit or those Beyonce pants?
   Some have advised to use almond oil on it, first I don't even know what that is, secondly I don't know where to get it from, some said lemon works, I have heard all sorts of things like baking soda and milk, I haven't tried any, I do know that natural remedies are slow, I think a strong bleaching cream should work. Confession alert! I have severally thought of rubbing foundation on it.
   

Taking a global look on our circumstance, I see my fellow black girls in the US and other foreign countries rocking perfectly toned asses and even knees, even if its dark its not severe, actually all their body parts have the same color. Any Remedy? Cuz I'm concerned about my ass.